I want to talk about an indelicate uncomfortable subject: self defeat.
In a world where heroism is king, self defeat is awkward and unmentionable, not unlike those roaming backyard pests….raccoons. We like to tell ourselves ‘Aw, they’re sooo cute …” (until they begin to take over and ravage houses, lawns, etc., In Japan, someone got the idea raccoons were adorable. They began importing them as pets. Before long, it was discovered it was impossible to tame them and raccoons could become combatant in captivity. The raccoons were released back into the wild where they have no natural predators in Japan, and are now destroying valuable property and historic sites.
Self-defeating behaviour is the same. We let ourselves say it’s pesky, but we do nothing about it. Often, in has a psychological history with roots and patterns of behaviour traceable to childhood, even genetics. I’m not a pyschologist, but I DO know self defeat is real and tough on us and others.
A friend began beating herself up and she knew she was trapped in an familiar swamp of negative and unbelieving thought patterns. Self defeat. She wanted not to think this way, but as I heard her going through it, I knew she knew she had a whole set of rather hard and fast and harsh rules for herself to follow. An inability to forgive, to keep on keeping on. As a result of self defeating thoughts she felt stuck and falsely loyal to bad relationships that left her feeling used, abused, and with no way out.
Sometimes we need to face down the horrible “I’m Baaaack!” of self defeat and tell it to take a hike! God doesn’t want us wallowing in self defeat or failure. He’s all about renewal. The most positive action and solution I know for dealing self-defeating behaviour a death blow is God’s Word. Healing from self defeat can be found continually by spending time with and getting to know God and His infinite true love, a love that never fails. Being with others who care and take time to listen and pray through life issues with us is also valuable. But #1 — is talking with God. Get to know Him and to understand His perspective. It’s all in His Word. Once you know and have studied God’s thoughts, start agreeing with Him. Begin to take hold of His thoughts and promises…
Before long, instead of listening to the horrible “I’m Baaaack” of self defeat, you will find yourself living the ‘alleluias’ of life. It’s time.